Every time we say goodbye, she turns away.
And after everyone else has turned away too, she looks back. Right at me.
It's been our secret. But now, it's a blessing every time.
Ellie's Journal
9 years ago
07 March 2009
18 February 2009
Simple Yet Profound
Last night, after wearily working for most of the morning and afternoon, I trudged back to my dorm in time for Bible study. We learned about how God's love is for everyone, not just for the Jews. While this was obviously not new to me, it made me realize how much we can rely on God. He never gives out on us, even when we stop caring or trying. By receiving strength from Him, we can pass it on to others that need it. And that's what makes God happy.
After Bible study we headed for the Union to play some board games for Ashley's birthday. My Bible study co-leader was turning 19, and nearly everyone from our on campus church group (Intervarsity) showed up to celebrate. She looked very happy.
After the party, I listened to a voicemail that I had gotten from my friend Laura. She chatted in weird voices and told me to call her back. Before hanging up she said "I love you" in the wonderful way in which only old friends can. I felt so happy.
After that, I went to my good friend and future roommate Rusty's room. While we chatted a bit here and there, we mostly sat in silence and read books that we had recommended to each other. There is something about Rusty that makes us understand each other so well. There is no need for mindless chatter or uncomfortable silence. There is a nice quiet - the absence of needing to impress each other or show off that many guys have. How blessed I am to have found a friend who values not only books but also the comfortableness of friendship. How it makes him happy as well.
It is still always so awesome to me to find that people in my life love me - and often that I love them back. God's love, while obviously greater than mine, has been put in my heart for a reason. Often I forget to use it, but when He makes me remember, or when others remind me, it is so very, very nice.
After Bible study we headed for the Union to play some board games for Ashley's birthday. My Bible study co-leader was turning 19, and nearly everyone from our on campus church group (Intervarsity) showed up to celebrate. She looked very happy.
After the party, I listened to a voicemail that I had gotten from my friend Laura. She chatted in weird voices and told me to call her back. Before hanging up she said "I love you" in the wonderful way in which only old friends can. I felt so happy.
After that, I went to my good friend and future roommate Rusty's room. While we chatted a bit here and there, we mostly sat in silence and read books that we had recommended to each other. There is something about Rusty that makes us understand each other so well. There is no need for mindless chatter or uncomfortable silence. There is a nice quiet - the absence of needing to impress each other or show off that many guys have. How blessed I am to have found a friend who values not only books but also the comfortableness of friendship. How it makes him happy as well.
It is still always so awesome to me to find that people in my life love me - and often that I love them back. God's love, while obviously greater than mine, has been put in my heart for a reason. Often I forget to use it, but when He makes me remember, or when others remind me, it is so very, very nice.
28 January 2009
My Life as... The Show?
My good friend told me about this new song she found.
It's called "The Show" by Lenka, which is an odd name
but a good one. The lyrics below perfectly describe
my life right now... and i cannot stop listening to
this song. Read the lyrics below!
I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why
Slow it down
Make it stop
Or else my heart is going to pop
'Cause it's too much
Yeah, it's a lot
To be something I'm not
I'm a fool
Out of love
'Cause I just can't get enough
I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why
I'm just a little boy lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show
10 January 2009
Rejoicing in the Pollution
Today I was driving up 8th Street to Perkins to have coffee with my older sister. As I drove, I was listening to the song "High School Musical" from the third movie's soundtrack. You may scoff, but it's terribly catchy, and I do love to dance.
Anyhow, as I drove along in my rather decrepit old Saturn (badly in need of a wash), a long row of cars came up behind me, almost touching my little Saturn's sad bumper. On Saturday nights, it's considered cool for teenage boys to drive their 'hot rides' up and down 8th Street for everyone to see and admire them for having no other plans and wasting fuel resources. I, however, had an agenda, one which required dancing while driving and singing very, very loudly.
Once the string of 5 or 6 cool dudes in their cool cars started to pass me, I got embarrassed. Perhaps I should stop dancing and singing to the Zac Efron-led tune of moving on and individuality. But, as all 6 or 7 of our cars pulled up a stop light (me being the only "lame" car), I realized that I didn't have to tailor my way of life just because these awesome teenage guys would think I was weird.
And so, as we sat at the red light, I turned up the music and sang along, dancing with joy at my own joyfullness - and realized some of them were staring at me. But I felt alive, in my own corny way, and rejoiced all the more for it - even after the light turned green, and they sped away, leaving me in their wake and air pollution. Something had changed inside of me... I hadn't cared what they thought, which I would have before. I had found the courage to be myself, which is too often harder than it should be.
Zac Efron was still singing, as loud as he could in my ancient veihicle. And so was I.
Anyhow, as I drove along in my rather decrepit old Saturn (badly in need of a wash), a long row of cars came up behind me, almost touching my little Saturn's sad bumper. On Saturday nights, it's considered cool for teenage boys to drive their 'hot rides' up and down 8th Street for everyone to see and admire them for having no other plans and wasting fuel resources. I, however, had an agenda, one which required dancing while driving and singing very, very loudly.
Once the string of 5 or 6 cool dudes in their cool cars started to pass me, I got embarrassed. Perhaps I should stop dancing and singing to the Zac Efron-led tune of moving on and individuality. But, as all 6 or 7 of our cars pulled up a stop light (me being the only "lame" car), I realized that I didn't have to tailor my way of life just because these awesome teenage guys would think I was weird.
And so, as we sat at the red light, I turned up the music and sang along, dancing with joy at my own joyfullness - and realized some of them were staring at me. But I felt alive, in my own corny way, and rejoiced all the more for it - even after the light turned green, and they sped away, leaving me in their wake and air pollution. Something had changed inside of me... I hadn't cared what they thought, which I would have before. I had found the courage to be myself, which is too often harder than it should be.
Zac Efron was still singing, as loud as he could in my ancient veihicle. And so was I.
07 January 2009
Just Finished
I just finished reading a pair of books (twin books? duplet books?) that were quite delightful. "How I Paid for College: A Novel of Sex, Theft, Friendship, and Musical Theater" is the first, and is followed by "Attack of the Theater People".
The books are by Mark Acito, and focus on Edward Zanni, an Italian-American actor who loves musicals and getting in to trouble with the law. The books are terribly colorful and wacky, with just the right amount of plausability thrown in. Edward, who is joined on his adventures by his crazy and exultant group of friends, hastily reminded me of myself... if I was more dramatic and lived in New York City. But the books were a breath of fresh air in this dull month of January, and I finished them both in 3 days. I recommend them if you're looking for something summery and different and delightful. With an emphasis on different. And delightful.
The books are by Mark Acito, and focus on Edward Zanni, an Italian-American actor who loves musicals and getting in to trouble with the law. The books are terribly colorful and wacky, with just the right amount of plausability thrown in. Edward, who is joined on his adventures by his crazy and exultant group of friends, hastily reminded me of myself... if I was more dramatic and lived in New York City. But the books were a breath of fresh air in this dull month of January, and I finished them both in 3 days. I recommend them if you're looking for something summery and different and delightful. With an emphasis on different. And delightful.
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