Last Looks

Every time we say goodbye, she turns away.

And after everyone else has turned away too, she looks back. Right at me.

It's been our secret. But now, it's a blessing every time.

Rejoicing in the Pollution

Today I was driving up 8th Street to Perkins to have coffee with my older sister. As I drove, I was listening to the song "High School Musical" from the third movie's soundtrack. You may scoff, but it's terribly catchy, and I do love to dance.

Anyhow, as I drove along in my rather decrepit old Saturn (badly in need of a wash), a long row of cars came up behind me, almost touching my little Saturn's sad bumper. On Saturday nights, it's considered cool for teenage boys to drive their 'hot rides' up and down 8th Street for everyone to see and admire them for having no other plans and wasting fuel resources. I, however, had an agenda, one which required dancing while driving and singing very, very loudly.

Once the string of 5 or 6 cool dudes in their cool cars started to pass me, I got embarrassed. Perhaps I should stop dancing and singing to the Zac Efron-led tune of moving on and individuality. But, as all 6 or 7 of our cars pulled up a stop light (me being the only "lame" car), I realized that I didn't have to tailor my way of life just because these awesome teenage guys would think I was weird.

And so, as we sat at the red light, I turned up the music and sang along, dancing with joy at my own joyfullness - and realized some of them were staring at me. But I felt alive, in my own corny way, and rejoiced all the more for it - even after the light turned green, and they sped away, leaving me in their wake and air pollution. Something had changed inside of me... I hadn't cared what they thought, which I would have before. I had found the courage to be myself, which is too often harder than it should be.

Zac Efron was still singing, as loud as he could in my ancient veihicle. And so was I.

Just Finished

I just finished reading a pair of books (twin books? duplet books?) that were quite delightful. "How I Paid for College: A Novel of Sex, Theft, Friendship, and Musical Theater" is the first, and is followed by "Attack of the Theater People".

The books are by Mark Acito, and focus on Edward Zanni, an Italian-American actor who loves musicals and getting in to trouble with the law. The books are terribly colorful and wacky, with just the right amount of plausability thrown in. Edward, who is joined on his adventures by his crazy and exultant group of friends, hastily reminded me of myself... if I was more dramatic and lived in New York City. But the books were a breath of fresh air in this dull month of January, and I finished them both in 3 days. I recommend them if you're looking for something summery and different and delightful. With an emphasis on different. And delightful.

Thanks

I know, I know... Thanksgiving was over a week ago now... but I'm still drawn to be thankful for all I've been given, especially in the form of friends. I feel so unworthy of them. I'm clumsy and awkward and not always kind, but they don't seem to care. They stick by me till the end - and they know who they are. The Africans, ADMA, the homeschoolers, The Family, and more... they see me through my troubled times - and bring joy when we are happy. It's a treat and a honor to know that they consider me their friend. And I am thankful for them more and more as the days go on.