The sun was setting as I poured the hot water and mixed the brown powder into it. Hot chocolate emerged from the swirling chaos. I absent mindedly dumped a package of tiny marshmallows on top. The floated with glee, while I watched in despair.
It seemed like so long ago that I had been with her. That I had chosen her as the one that I loved. But it seemed like just yesterday, too. She was perfect for me in every way that I could think of: smart, funny, terribly awkward and odd, endearing, thoughtful, and trustworthy. She seemed to wear a badge when I saw her that screamed ‘I’m yours!’
Even though she wasn’t.
She has been dating him for over a year now. The other guy. The one that is so perfect for her that it hurts me inside every time I think about it. Because he’s more talented and funny and clever than me. And more perfect for her than I can ever dream of being.
She gives him hugs and kisses and holds his hand. Silly and small things, perhaps, but he also holds her heart. What I wouldn’t give to be him. What I wouldn’t give to have her. What I wouldn’t give to just be a little cleverer, a little better. A little more perfect for her.
The sun had gone down. My marshmallows were a creamy layer atop a pond of chocolate, slowly sinking below into the dark liquid. They didn’t look so gleeful anymore.
The water rose over my eyelids, and rolled down my face.
Ellie's Journal
10 years ago
1 comment:
Though two out of your three posts are somewhat melancholy . . . you are a VERY good writer. What I wouldn't give to be you . . .
Not sure if you meant me to find your blog - but since you accessed my blog through yours, your url came up on my statcounter. Anyway, ditto on the second post, though I don't think we've ever been best friends. Lovely decisions going on.
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