The sun was setting as I poured the hot water and mixed the brown powder into it. Hot chocolate emerged from the swirling chaos. I absent mindedly dumped a package of tiny marshmallows on top. The floated with glee, while I watched in despair.
It seemed like so long ago that I had been with her. That I had chosen her as the one that I loved. But it seemed like just yesterday, too. She was perfect for me in every way that I could think of: smart, funny, terribly awkward and odd, endearing, thoughtful, and trustworthy. She seemed to wear a badge when I saw her that screamed ‘I’m yours!’
Even though she wasn’t.
She has been dating him for over a year now. The other guy. The one that is so perfect for her that it hurts me inside every time I think about it. Because he’s more talented and funny and clever than me. And more perfect for her than I can ever dream of being.
She gives him hugs and kisses and holds his hand. Silly and small things, perhaps, but he also holds her heart. What I wouldn’t give to be him. What I wouldn’t give to have her. What I wouldn’t give to just be a little cleverer, a little better. A little more perfect for her.
The sun had gone down. My marshmallows were a creamy layer atop a pond of chocolate, slowly sinking below into the dark liquid. They didn’t look so gleeful anymore.
The water rose over my eyelids, and rolled down my face.
Ellie's Journal
9 years ago
1 comment:
Though two out of your three posts are somewhat melancholy . . . you are a VERY good writer. What I wouldn't give to be you . . .
Not sure if you meant me to find your blog - but since you accessed my blog through yours, your url came up on my statcounter. Anyway, ditto on the second post, though I don't think we've ever been best friends. Lovely decisions going on.
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